The election of 2016 is underway. I know it's hard to believe, but tomorrow will actually be the first time votes will cast. Being inundated by possible email scams, the battle for who's the "most" conservative, the Oval Office possibly turning into a reality show, a socialist, a reactionary, and another Bush each night on our televisions you might have started to think that this election cycle is all but done. Hilary on one side and Trump on the other. And yet, still, not a vote has been cast. So, given that my novel, Lazarus Rising, begins in the year 2016 I thought, before you even think about which candidate to vote for, that you should hear from the characters of my book. As the creator I thought it would be appropriate to allow Lazarus Parker to go first, however, Forrest Vance refused to be interviewed unless he started off the conversation. I tried to tell him it was the equivalent to being the "opening act," but, you mention Lazarus around this guy and you sort of hit a nerve.
Here we go:
Q: Mr. Vance, as a Democrat, what do you think of the candidates running for your party's nomination?
A: Well, I am quite certain that we should not nominate that Sanders character. He is a true believer, always dangerous.
Q: Yeah, but, wouldn't he make it easier for you to take over since he wants more government control?
A: Sure, but true believers muck it up. They energize the other side as well as their own side. That's not good, it causes people to start to care. If enough of them care government control becomes harder and harder. I need the people lethargic, uninformed, only concerned with what they want and their concerns. Sanders might wake up all those who preach that personal responsibility crap.
Q: What about Secretary Clinton?
A: She's perfect. Yeah the other side will complain and moan and continue to hound her on the email scandal, but that in itself is what makes her perfect. You see, she has no regard for the truth, only what's best for her career. I love the whole war on women thing. I think I use it once I take over. Nothing better than having your way with 'em and convincing everyone you're "on their side." I'm a fan, quite frankly. Her election would lead to more divisiveness, more people bowing out of the political process, more people feeling disenfranchised. Perfect. Plus, she's always touting about my favorite issue, gun control. I'd kill to get all the guns away from the people (Insert evil grin here).
Q: On the Republican side is there anyone you would vote for?
A: No. It is wrong to ever consider any side but your own, no matter who the candidate is. Remember that folks, you must mindlessly vote for your party and your party only. We can't have citizens going around actually thinking about the character, the ideas, the possibilities that each of the candidates bring. I love ideologies. Those who spit back only their party's talking points. They are without a doubt the "useful idiots" Stalin and Lenin so depended on to grab control of Russia. To all of you out there, regardless of party, keep blindly checking the box with an R or D next to it, please. That will all but assure my rise to power.
Q: What do you think about those running for the Republican ticket?
A: The front runner, Trump, has been entertaining. If he won the general I would worry that he might actually do something good and get America back on the wrong track. Back to prosperity, caring for each other, paying attention from time to time to the Constitution, you know, bad ideas like that. However, his narcissism probably won't allow for that. I'm scared he might beat me to the punch when it comes to a complete takeover! My Master would be pleased, but would no longer have any use for me. So, I'm torn. I love the anger behind his rise; I hate the idea of now knowing what he might actually accomplish.
That Cruz guy is a bit crazy. He sticks to his principles. I have a feeling he would keep the country divided as a result, maybe I'm wrong.
Marco Rubio is well received by the ladies. He is willing to compromise which could lead to the country getting on that wrong track again. The United States has always done well when the two party's actually talk to each other. I can't have that possibility happening. The divide plays right into my hands.
Dr. Carson is quiet. That scares me. Those quiet types that act humble and bring the Enemy (God) into the conversation and actually mean it worries me. The Master would not be pleased. Usually it's hard to take down a man who has really served mankind in a profound way. I mean, they used a 25 year old book to tear him down, it worked perhaps good enough to keep him from winning, which is why I so love this country. I love the media, questioning him for lying about his faults! Classic. The media will be the real reason for my rise to power.
Poor Jeb Bush. Just can't get any traction. Plus, you want to talk about arrogance. His play basically is that out of 330 million Americans we need yet another Bush to run this country. Hard sell, don't see it happening.
The others are interesting, Christie, Huckabee, Santorum, Fiorina, and more. But this election looks as if it has been hijacked by a celebrity. Could be good for me, could be good for "the people."
I do have to say, I love the fact that the media has helped us get out the idea that all Republicans are racist and hate women. I mean, even though they have a woman, black man, two Hispanics, and a guy from New Jersey running we can still sell it to the American people. Again, classic. Thank you media.
My favorite scenario? Trump versus Sanders. Two old white guys battling it out. Maybe, just maybe, we can get Al Shapton and Spike Lee to come out and boycott the election! Now there's an idea I can get behind.
Next interview? Abigail (Payne) Parker